The Baloney Pony & My Homies

This weekend market my eighth year at Homie Fall Fest, and one of the best ones yet.  Although defining HFF to the layperson alludes most of us, I think you can start with... single speed mtn bikes, personal style (or costume), beer, flasks, feats of strength, derby, more beer, ride, beer, final stop with more feats of strength, bonfire, and more beer....

With my MUSS, "The Baloney Pony", and my hubby, it was set to become another awesome day.  And along the way, we had some fun and make some memories... some of which we only remember once we turn the camera back on and we find out what we did.

Riding along hidden trains in the Minneapolis, challenging ourselves to do something stupid (or let the rest of the Homies tell you not to), we congregate with our friends we see often in our community, plus the ones that come from caves far far away to enjoy yet another year of drunked debauchery.

 This year took us along the river for miles, exploring areas I'd never seen before, hanging out under bridges drinking beer as the warm October sun tried to keep the chill at bay.

Somewhere under a bridge, down by the river, someone came up with a peculiar way to drink beer with a stocking over our heads.  Though the creep-factor was awesomely bad, Stevil proved the difficulties of drinking through the (hopefully clean) stocking.

So we improved and ripped mouth holes into them!  And then we drank some more..

The turn out was incredible and we took a moment for a very sweet and innocent family picture...

With one more stop to go, we got back on our bikes and followed the leader down the trail.  Hwood, me and a handful of others missed the final turn into the woods and didn't catch it till we'd made it some 20 yds down the path.  

When we decided to turn around and go back, I was caught completely off-guard when I saw a black figure barreling down on me mid-turn at a speed I couldn't beat.  The impact was fierce as we collided and slammed onto the ground.  Hwood and the guys rushed to my side to make sure I was okay.  I got up and took inventory, I couldn't find any injuries, even after the extra check to compensate for the booziness that may mask something.  He, on the other hand, had a bloody lip and this handlebars wedge within my front wheel.  It had bent one of my spokes and threw my wheel out of true, but it still got me to where I needed to go.

Once we got to the final camp, we settled in, cracked another beer and enjoyed the ride.  I got in on the relay with Hwood and Murph from Swobo, raging round and round the fire as we laughed and tried to take it to Geno and his dream team. I don't even remember who won... but I do remember that it was even harder to pull off the 2-person race with Jay on the pedals and me on the handlebars.  The booze definitely made the falls easier to take.

When darkness fell and we realized that the lights I intelligently grabbed for our ride home were dead, we decided to hit the trail and head home.  Leaving from Eagan with a cold headwind, we started to think of better ways to get back fast... When we got to Bloomington, we decided to hop on the light rail at the airport and get as close as we could to home.  The ride was slick, smooth, and we were soon back at the house and chowin' on some hot food.

After eight years, it's still awesome, and I love the tradition Jay and I have of bailing for pizza and laughing about the antics before we fell asleep (aka passed out).  My first Homie Fall Fest lead to my first kiss with my future hubby, my first mountain bike and a healthy bike new addiction.  I look forward to what more is yet to come...

Bruised, Boozed, and Smilin',
Kristy Kreme

Homey Fall Fun Fest 2012

On Monday morning, still tired and ragged from the weekend, I was at a loss for words when asked what I did over the weekend.  How do you describe Homey to the lay person?

Where do I begin?

Saturday was a gorgeous fall morning, all sunshine and cool temps with the fall leaves littering the yards.  We layered up on clothing, threw some PBR's in our bags, and mounted up on the single speeds, headed out for the meeting spot to begin our 7th Homey together.  Our first Homey together, back in 2006, was an eye-opening experience... as if someone lifted the veil to a entirely different existance... and I felt instantly at home.  step through the looking glass, Alice

Fall colors and coolness that heighten the thrill in the air, sounds of bikes on the trail, laughter, beers and debauchery .... friends amongst strangers and a smile for both all the same... "I knew who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then"... it was my first time on a mountain bike, first time really hanging out with Jay's friends, and I knew in my heart I was utterly falling for this man.  It was the night of our first kiss and the new beginnings that would change the path of my life indefinitely.  It was, by far, the best Homey ever.  This year though, was definitely second!

We started off at a very Northwoods-feel dive bar where you were lucky to get a beer in under 20 minutes.  I had just enough time to polish off a Bud with Tyson before the Mad Hatter arrived to begin the journey.  We headed off towards Hidden Falls and stopped off once for a derby which I was content to watch from the sidelines... something about a tightening circle around park benches makes me worry about crashing... or maybe it was the lack of bevies in my blood..

Once at the falls, we lounged casually in the leaves, laughing with friends and watching the climbing and coasting feats of strength that played out in front of us.  Ahh, THIS is what relaxing is... the fresh air, bikes, and good company.

After some beers and good fun, we headed down the creek a bit for the next derby and this time I didn't hesitate to join in.  People stood around aimlessly, so I joined Geno and Hollywood in buzzing them as we widened the circle, coaxing them to join us.  The circle filled up quickly and the rubbing began.  Round and round we pedaled and the pack began to thin.  Jubilant laughter mixed with rubbing tires and tangled handle bars as we all tried not to dab a foot.  

In a trance, I circled again and again, watching my opponents through my peripheral, utilizing everything from bump-n-run to stalling out to keep myself in the game.  All of a sudden, we were down to me and three dudes as the crowd began moving in on us, tightening our circle.  All three of them were battling it out on the opposite side of the tree we circled so I matched their pace, hoping they'd start taking each other out.  

In one hard move, Thor took out them both, emerging from the mangled fun as I rounded the tree and made a hard charge at me.  Hoping to catch him off balance, I pedaled straight for him, ramming him hard and bracing as our tangled bikes began to tip his way.  Tipping ever so slowly, I got my feet up and shouts filled the air as he put his foot down to catch us.  In pure excitement, I tumbled backwards off my bike, hands in the air, with the biggest shit-eating grin stretched across my face.

Last year was the first time I'd even made it 1/2 way through the derby, and here I was the winner!  I guess the pigtails probably didn't hurt my cause, but I didn't care... I rode the high for the rest of the night.

We continued on, deeper into the rabbit hole, farther from a 'normal' existence, riding our bikes along trails covered in leaves on our way to the river for the next contest.. Rock Skipping across the river!  I, unfortunately, have absolutely no skill in that category, so I sat and watched happily like the Cheshire Cat.  It was great fun to watch my friends line the river's edge for a simultaneous stone throw.

Once to our final destination, the riff raff jumped their bikes off the base of a tall oak as we stood below, watching and wondering from conversation to conversation.  The beers continued to flow and the stunts never ceased as the afternoon stretched on.  

We stayed until the sun began to melt into the horizon and our hunger took over.  Making our break for it, we got back on our bikes to try and make it home before dark, stopping only once to grab some pizza to fill our bellies with.  Satiated and warm at home, we dozed off to sleep for an early evening nap to recover from the festivities.  It was definitely one of the most fun times I've had with the crue and  a smile tugged at the side of my lips as night grew and we laughed about the fun we'd had.

I think Alice said it best... "I'm not strange, weird, off, nor crazy.  My reality is just different than yours."

Kristy Kreme in Wonderland...

Bottle CX - Double Wood Victory, Double the Fun!

We by-passed the standard MCF racing today to stay close to home and 'cross it up with the 612 Mafia. Bottle CX started by meeting at a pre-determined spot and following Hurl to the "not a race" course. Complete with a wicked stair climb, sketchy descent, and log barriers, it was sure to be a good time. Add to it that the entry price was just a bottled beverage, and you're sure to bring out the best!

Yum, Harriet Brewery plus the lovely Kelly Mac!

Five killer laps on the urban course were perfect, challenging me to keep my feet moving up the stair climb lap after lap... heck, it was probably one of the best stair climbs we could have done to prepare for State Championships!

Hollywood was riding out of his mind from the get-go, and I was doing everything I could to chase down Chelsea early in the event. Half way through the race, I caught up to her and settled into her pace up the stairs, passing her at the top and trying to speed the pace up as best I could. It worked great and I held it to the finish, taking the women's win! There waiting for me at the finish, my sweet hubby who took the men's win.... bitch, please! Double Wood Victory!

Yeah, I scored a sweet Hula Pig trophy - best one ever!!!!

Not only did we score sweet trophies, Jay won some awesome Zig Zag arm warmers! He STILL won't take 'em off - ha!

What's the first thing you want to see as you cross the finish line at a 'cross race? A bag full of random bottles of liquor, of course! (plus one bottle of hot sauce) People brought everything from a bottle of beer, Harriet Brewery growler, some sweet and smooth Kentucky whisky, and even a bottle of home brew. Jay opted for the Delirium Tremens, whereas I popped the top off the growler and shared in the glory with CrossMax and his well-planned pint glasses!

Hey, Gen-o Mario, where's Louigi??

We chilled for hours with our friends, sharing beers and stories, until the hunger set in. Hollywood and I packed up our cool trophies and headed to grab some Punch Pizza and get home to the puppy! What an amazing way to finish out the weekend!

Thank you Hurl for putting on an awesome event!

Tired, lazy, and enjoying the couch,

Kristy Kreme

Goodbye Homie, HELL-O Foamy!

Video killed the radio star in the 1984...

A mountain bike magazine killed Homie Fall Fun Fest in 2010.....

Homie, the place I first got the guts to kiss my now-husband on the cheek, leading to our first kiss later that night...

Homie, my first time on a mountain bike.... first single speed (tricycle not included).... first Bacon & Peanut Butter Donut.... first time hanging with the 612 Mafia...... first time I opened my eyes into a new world I never thought I'd be a part of....

Love you Homie! So sorry the magazine article tainted your underground persona and forced you to hibernate for an unannounced amount of time. BUT, I have to thank you tons for sending your cousin Foamy to keep us in-the-know folks entertained during your sabbatical.

For those of you outside the know peeps, Foamy was a fabulous single speed mountain bike gathering on a cool, beautiful fall afternoon in the city. Tucked just a few feet off the bike/walk path, we gathered for beer, comraderie, and some awesome feats of strength for yet another year, Homie's death n' all. Costumes, homemade spiced wine, and some crazy treats (my fave is the Wild Turkey balls) make the rounds in the group as we ride, drink, laugh and have fun. And this day didn't disappoint.

Jay trying to take out Wheels by ghost-ridin' the Tomac

Me & B-Rad

For me, a year's worth of mountain bike racing was the best prep work I could've had - giving me the skills (on top of the liquid courage) to make it to the top half of the Miss & Out Derby ... one I rarely make it past the first lap of. SO FREAKIN' RAD!!!

Considering we had rocked out for 8 hours straight the night before, we couldn't stay til sundown, but we were fully satisfied to return home early and order a pizza with Wheels & MSH.

Full bellied and with tired legs, we ambled off to sleep in preparation for another day of racing.

Lovin' Fall,

Kristy Kreme