Recognizing when "toughing it out" is not the right decision

I'm typically the type of person that avoids the doctor as much as possible and believes my body will (eventually) fix itself.  Something about this week was different... and extremely unexpected.

I started a new job last week and was pretty fatigued come Wednesday.  I chalked it up to the floods of information coming at me, meetings, trying to find my desk, navigating the halls and learning so many new names.  By the time Jay picked me up from work the exhaustion was obvious and I backed out of our fat bike ride during the drive home, opting instead to hit the grocery store and make dinner while he rode.  Walking through the grocery isles, a dull ache settled into my stomach which through me off guard.  

Me to self:  I guess I've been eating a lot of tangerines and acidic foods lately.. maybe it's just super acidic.

I returned home with the fixings for some flatbread pesto pizzas with roasted veggies and didn't think much more about it.  As the night waned the ache returned but again I made up some idea of the cause (maybe too much garlic now on my pizza) and went to bed.  But I found myself unable to sleep for most of the night as the ache grew stronger over the night.

By morning, the pain hadn't subsided so I took a few Tums as I prepped for work and went about my day.  Today was my Getting To Know You lunch with my team and I was so excited to play games and meet everyone.  But, with my stomach bothering me so much, I couldn't stomach the idea of eating so I grabbed a banana and plain yogurt to get me through.  By the end of the lunch, the pain was increasing noticeably and I started to have an impending feeling that something was wrong.

I went down to our in-house medical clinic to request an appointment but they were full.  When I told the nurse my symptoms, she asked me to go to urgent care.  I texted Jay asking him to take me after work but, by the time I made it up three floors I knew I couldn't wait.  I called him back and he quickly jumped in the car to pick me up as I paced along the windows of my new desk holding my stomach as it had been swelling beyond belief over the course of the last few hours.

He took me to Urgent Care and they began taking some tests and palpating my abdomen as I was no longer able to sit still from the increasing pain.  After a few tests, they had me on my way to the ER to have my appendix checked.  Jay flew down France and through red lights (sorry) as I was dry heaving out the passenger window.  They quickly ushered me into Triage when I hobbled in and something about knowing I was going to be safe seemed to break my ability to control my vomiting or my shakes any longer.  

We quickly moved into a room where I could gown-up, hooked up to an IV and monitors, and started donating blood to start narrowing down the likely suspects - Appendix? Gall Bladder?  My hubby returned after dropping the puppy at home and my dad, stepmom and stepsister were all by my side as I fought through the pain and nausea.  The blood tests came back healthy but, luckily, the CT showed that it was after all my appendix.  Thank heavens I followed those instincts so we got there before it burst and there I was, 5 hours after asking Jay to take me in, I was headed off to surgery for a laparoscopic appendectomy.  

My medical team was amazing (thank you tons to Dr. Laguna and the entire team at Southdale Emergency Hospital)!!!  By 10:30 my family was allowed back into post-op to see me and the kind nursing team had me dressed and ready to head home to bed.  I couldn't believe how quickly they were able to treat and diagnose me and how much worse it could have been.  I am so grateful for everyone's help, their recommendations, and to Jay for getting me to the hospital so quickly.

Now, it's just settling in for a longer-than-I-wish recovery and focusing on a comeback once I can exercise again.  For now, guess I just get to heal up and be a super fan for the next few weeks!

One organ lighter, another adventure survived, 

Kristy Kreme, bloated post-op machine ;)

Oh, to dream just a while longer...

I am often a vivid dreamer but something about last night will stick with me forever....

It was a warm fall day and Jay, Ben Miller, and Christopher Cross and I were in the woods collecting logs for a fire.  We made our way into a clearing filled with waste-high prairie grass towards a set of railroad tracks.  One by one we crawled on top of a wooden pump trolley, prepared to depart to our bonfire destination.  

The sun was warm and I looked around to find Jay manning the pump, Ben was sitting on the back, dangling his feet over the edge.  I looked to the front to find Christopher standing and looking down the railroad tracks and, to my surprise, sitting between us was Dave Pike. 

He had on a light button up shirt, jeans, tennies, and was sitting with his hands casually resting on his bent knees.  His face was clean-shaven and he looked at me and smiled as the sun lit up his face more than anything around him. 

I quickly knelt and pulled him into my arms and told him how great it was to see him.  He didn’t say much, but we all circled around him with joy and huge smiles on our faces.  There was an unspoken word between us as if we didn’t want to acknowledge that he shouldn’t be there for fear that he would leave, while at the same time Dave gave off this feeling that he’d just stopped by to say hello.

He continued on the trolley with us to our destination and helped unload the logs into the pile that would become our fire.   I don’t remember all that we were talking about with Dave, likely sharing stories but there was something he had to do – he said he had to check on his girl and we told him he should get to it before it gets too late. (I wonder if he visited Tracie last night too)

I woke out of my sleep and had to grasp where I was (stupid chamomile tea before bed making me have to pee!).  When I returned to bed, I fought with myself on whether or not to go back to sleep.  Would I fall back into the same dream?  Or would I fall asleep and forget the dream I just had forever?

I stayed awake for a little while, trying to burn the memory of discovering Dave sitting on the trolley into my brain so I could revel on it later.  It was so peaceful and warm and everything we would have done together in real life (except maybe the pump trolley)… and I feel so blessed that he visited my dream to say hi.

I miss you, buddy. And I love you like a brother.

<3 kristy="" o:p="">

The Art of Falling Down

The true art of falling down is in how you get back up.  As a human Albatros, I've had a lot of scraped knees and cut hands from hitting the deck, but I've always picked my self up, dusted off, and got back to living.  But this year, each impact with the ground challenged me physically and mentally but also challenged my creativity.

As the 2017 pole competition season began, I was preparing to create one last competition routine and to push every one of my boundaries with my choreography.  Again, Albatros.. NOT delicate, flowy, or graceful.  But, rather than being a creepy, dark and twisted thing, this year I was going to be pretty, fun, light, sexy, entertaining and everything I'm too shy to be when I pole.  I bought a hot pink umbrella, a polka dot Lucy dress, pulled out my 5" heels and began choreographing to "Singing' in the Rain".  Lucky for me, the amazingly talented Freaky cut my song with some wicked sound effects to transition into "Thunderstruck" for the 2nd half of my routine!!!  The man RULES!

With the help of some awesome coaches, Jamie and Emily, teammates and hubby, my choreo was set pretty quickly so the pressure started to subside.  Until I fell down.

We were up at the Fat Bike Birkie, likely the coldest one yet, getting fired up for the Friday night Fat Bike crit.  The course was frozen solid and covered in ice even after the trail crew tried to break it up with a beast of a machine.  Mixed in with the men, I was just riding as hard as I could to stay warm and get it over with.  During one turn, my studded front wheel lost control and I augured onto the icy ground left knee first.  I got up with no air in my lungs and tried to walk a few steps to avoid being hit from behind but found each step excruciating.

The pain was fierce and walking was not going to work.  I got back on my bike hoping to 'spin it out' but any movement of the joint was agony.  I pedaled by using only my right leg for most of the remaining laps until I could passively rest my left heel on the pedal and moving the joint without pressure til I finally made it through the final lap.  Although my snow pants survived, I later found that my leg warmer was trashed and the wet feeling in my knee was blood.

Weeks later, the swelling and discoloration subsided, but the whole front of my knee was numb (6 months later = still numb).  Practicing my run throughs was a challenge and some of my floor choreography now had to go because any time on my knees was more painful than I could bear.  Routine #2 began.  Some time passed, I was sure I was ready to go... then I pulled my left hamstring.  No more splits.  Routine #3, commence.

I wasn't in love Routine 3, but I was willing to run with it.  But, just weeks before we were to go to competition, I fell down again.  Crashed out during a Tuesday night crit, I was hit from behind by another racer who rode me like a surfboard down the fairground streets, leaving more than 8 pts of road rash down the side of my body.  But I got up, Jay got my bike back in order, I gagged when I looked at my meaty elbow, but I got back in the race.

When I got back to the dance studio, I ran through my routine, found which parts I needed to change yet again due to my injuries, and added in just some things for me.  This was to be by competition finale.. it better be fun!  Truth in advertising... I was still terrified to fail.  The night before we were to hit the road for CPC, my confidence was faulty and I finally broke down.  Was the 4 minutes on stage going to be the finale I was hoping for?  Could I do it?  What if I failed?

But, the next morning, we packed up and headed east to Chicago.  I competed in Championship (judged on all-around tricks, flow, and presentation) and Entertainment (based on character and presentation).. and I placed in both!  Oh, yeah, and I fell down in the middle of my routine during my 2nd performance.  Damn ankle strap of my heels broke and I fell to my knees on stage.  But, I got back up and kept on going (all while hyper aware of the loose shoe now barely attached to my foot).

I finished 2nd in Championship and 3rd in Entertainment and am so proud to have challenged all the things I'm too shy to do, had fun, created something I'm proud of, and went out with a bang!

So, without further ado... here's the final video thanks to Alloy Images!

Not only was I the only goof ball cruising around town to two pink umbrellas (needed a back up) with pin-up style make up and hair, but I pulled of being cute and sweet.  I called her Penny.

I threw in my favorite tricks or little homages to people I love like a Pike D for our friend Dave Pike who passed away just before Christmas.  (miss you, Buddy) <3 p="">

My favorite static hold.

But then Penny turned into Stella.. and she was fun to be!

I am so grateful for all of the help, support, love and Tegaderm that got me through this last pole competition season.  Jenna and Margaret - thank you for making me wear heals! Jamie, Emily, and Emma - coaches like you help lil monsters like me put something together worth watching!  Angela, thank you for watching me fumble night after night. My friends and family - thank you for all your support. And Jay, thanks for always helping pick me back up and getting me back on my bike without questioning if I should. 

As long as I continue to get back up, I haven't yet failed...

Kristy