Taxiing along the runway in Cleveland, heading for MN by way of Chicago, in the smallest plane I’ve ever been in to end 4 days working a tradeshow hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d been home sick all week, but the accumulation of insomnia and missing my husband rolled like thunder in my chest as we prepared for take-off. Lucky for me, it was so small, there was only one-seat wide on the left side of the plane, so I was solo in my sorrow as both the window and the aisle seat. I gazed out the window over the wing to hide the tears that fell down my cheeks in slow motion.
It had only been four days. But it felt as though I’ve been living someone else’s life, longing to return to my own. I cried a little more as I fantasized about seeing Jay that night as Bob Dylan filled my ears ….
“I should have left this town this morning, but it was more than I could do.
Ah your love comes on so strong, and I’ve waited all day long
For tonight I’ll be staying here with you”
Staring at the rainbow sky that prepared for the pending shadows of twilight was a quiet relief as I silent-cried out my window, thinking of running across the room for a tearful embrace.
Its these echoes of myself that I filed away as I tried to conduct business all week but, in secret, screamed loudly as I contemplated what I want to be when I ‘grow up’. It’s not the typical story I tell, but the time alone, quietly in conference with myself and my heart, truly made me reflect on what happiness is to me… and where I wish the next adventure would take me.
…. I want to be home.
As turbulent air disturbed the mundane vibrations of the plane, I thought about our wedding vows, and I’ve never felt more passionate about them…
“I promise to always come home to you, and to always be there when you come home”
Once on the ground in MN, I sped to the taxi booth to hail a cab downtown. The driver couldn't have gone fast enough to ease my unrest, and I was quick to jump out in a small parking lot once we made it within a block of the cycling year end party that I had missed. Scantily-clad women climbed out of cars by the handful, barely dress for a MN winter, but who was I to care.. I was here. My roller bag echoed through the alley behind One on One and familiar signs of life meant there was still people here.
Mojo was first to greet me and let me into the rented space and I quickly found a welcome embrace with Kadence. Friendly faces still lingered in the room, but the party was clearly over. My heart exploded when I saw the smile on Jay's face as he quickly bounded over to me, kissing me on the dark stairs and refusing to let me go.
It was everything I needed.
Kind hugs and high-fives quickly followed as I greeted my friends and listened to stories of the party missed. By midnight, we were on our way home and ready to snuggle on the couch with the puppy. It was the perfect ending to a long week and a great reminder of the amazing life that I have, always here ready to welcome me home.
Road-worn and weary,