Back at home with doggo at my feet and merlot in my paw, Jay and I settled in on the couch and tuned into a podcast I found that two of our friends put on to help promote, hype, and corral all the single speed miscreants for this year's edition of SSUSA. The guest interviewed was 2012 W's Champ Kerry W. who made it quickly apparent through the fast termination of any discussion of my current responsibility over the Champion's Belt that dark waters ran deep within her in relation to me. It was funny at first, but the vehemence behind her sharp words soon got to me and I turned it off 1/2 way through. The same dark wave washed over me... I was warmed by the kind things my friends would say about me early in the podcast, but shocked at the way each statement was so violently shut down.
The murky waters lingered come morning as I tried to prepare for our local CX race. I know I beat her for the belt in 2013 and have seen her at a few events since, but I had no idea what created such depth of hatred to fester. Jay tried to talk me out of my sullen mood and, when he left to grab breakfast, I knew I had to change the direction I was letting my mind go and look for the better path. I plugged in my headphones and turned on my race playlist... first up "How You Like Me Now?" by The Heavy. I put on mascara (cuz I have blonde eye lashes and never leave home without it), packed my bags, and readied myself to push that new bike to every limit I could find.
It's odd and something I am grateful for every time it happens... but sometimes the universe reaches out and turns your head in the right direction... that's if you're willing to look there.
We got to The Loppet Trailhead for the open pre-ride, kitted up in my pink camo Podiumwear skin suit, pink helmet, pink shoes, and hot f'in pink Crux ready to see what we had in store. Jay and I tore through three super fast and fun laps to check out the course and I was confident that today was going to be a good day. I laid my bike against a wall to collect my thoughts and plan for the next hour and a half before my race, standing on the back patio of the chalet.
I noticed out of the corner of my eye a young boy in blue (maybe 5 years old) slowly walking towards me who slowed as he neared, making eye contact with an inquisitive look on his face. I squatted down to his eye level and asked how he was doing. "I'm going to cheer for you today! I want you to win because that's my sister's favorite color!". I'd never met the boy, the family didn't have anyone in the race; they only came to check it all out. His younger sister approached in an Elsa dress, holding a pink cycling water bottle that matched mine. I thanked him for his kindness and grabbed my bike in which he responded "Your bike is pink, too?! You ARE going to win!". I thanked him again and returned to my pre-race preparations.
At race time, I rolled back up to the Chalet to see my new favorite family leaving and I stopped to tell them how much my day was truly brightened thanks to meeting them. The young boy came back to me and held out his small pinky.. "I pinky swear you are going to win today". I twisted my pinky with his and said "I'm definitely winning today, thanks to you!".
When it came to the race, I felt amazing. I have learned so much this year that I am proud to say I am a more technical rider than I have ever been. Me and the Crux (aka "Lightning") were flying through the twists and turns, catching air and holding a great position in 4th place lap after lap. It was a feverous rush in my veins to be flying through the course after battling injuries in the last few years, feeling as if I'm finally on my path back. And when I burped my tubeless front tire on a rock midway through the race, my friend Charlie who was in the pit for Megan, kindly put air back in my tire as I took my single speed out for a hot lap to retain my position until I could return to the pit for Lightning again.
Photo: Carlos Sabillón
I didn't win the race but I held my 4th place position for the entire race in a field of some awesomely talented women! Sharing great conversation with the gals in my field was the perfect way to wrap up the day before loading up the bikes and heading back home with an exhausted body and cleansed soul.
I made a choice that day... I could have stared down the dark hallway in anguish and loathing, or could turn my back and walk into the light and choose to live my joy, share encouragement with others, and high five new friends. I hope others know that, too.. sometimes you just have to choose to look in the other direction to find the life that's inviting you to live it.
Focused on the light,
Kristy Kreme
PSS... What else is on my playlist?
"Bleed it Out" - Linkin Park
"Bad Girls" - M.I.A.
"Happy Go Sucky Fucky" - Die Antwoord \m/
